What's Been Going On
This has been a very mentally challenging week for me, and I've been doing WAY too much thinking! Early in the week I was a bit down because I felt something was bothering my honey, things seemed strained and just not at all like it usually is around here. This happens every once in a blue moon, but I know I just have to wait it out, that he'll talk to me when he's ready. So I kept waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and........nope, nothing! I don't know what it was, but it was suddenly gone as quickly as it came. I'm relieved at that, but still bothered by it. Most times we can talk about anything and everything, but once in a while, one of us is holding back. I think a lot of it has to do with the insecurities that we still have within ourselves, and I know that is something that I need to work on. I have also been immensely overburden with financial worries lately, and have decided to make some changes to help out. You see, Bobby's company got bought out last year, then they cut his pay in half. Ouch! He tried to stick it out there, but things just weren't getting better, so he moved on...something very difficult for him to do. If you have been in your job for a long time, it's rather frightening to change jobs and to start all over again. Well, he did, and the next job was ok pay (still not near what he was making), but the hours were horrible, and we hardly saw him. A couple of months later, he gets a good job, where they are giving him the training he needs, but now they are wanting to keep him at the same low pay, but with all qualifications. He's a mechanic, and this place wants him to be what they call a "master tech" but only pay him the salary of a "specialist." Financially, this has all caught up with us. Throw in another...I sold my car to a women over a year ago, and she was making monthly payments to me, but in April of this year, she totalled the car and I haven't seen a penny since. I'm out a couple of thousand on that one, and now regret trading in my own car for a newer one because now I'm in a jam with the payments on that! I know taxes on the house are coming up in December, along with personal property taxes and of course, Christmas. I'm really worried about Christmas and not being able to shop for our children. I know Bobby feels guilty for leaving his first company, and I feel quilty for encouraging him to do so, BUT I still think it was the best move for him to make, even though he's not making what he should be right now. So....discussion has gone on about getting a part-time job. I know plenty of places are hiring for the holidays right now, and I have many years of retail experience, so it should be easy for me to get one. Now Bobby feels guilty that I'm the one taking on a second job! I really think I should be the one because my ex works with me pretty easily with the kids schedules, and will always help out, but Bobby's ex...well, it isn't always so smooth. Also, if he takes another job, it will be another manual labor job, and I just think it'd be too much, as he's already tired. Hey, it's only temporary, right? I am going to put in applications to GNC, FashionBug and maybe Hallmark, as they are fairly close. I've also been debating what I want to do with my real career. Do I stay with my company that I've been with for 9 years, where the drive is an hour each way, and it's getting more and more difficult to climb up the latter? Or do I look for something else? My resume has been out there for 2 years, with no good bites, until this week. I had an interview with a reputable company, the interview went really well (I marvel at how TOM shows up at the most inappropriate times?!), but it's a 3 interview process, so I'll just wait and see. I already have a good job, so I figure I have nothing to lose. Then I sit back and think of how lucky I am, that I have a wonderful husband, who treats me like a princess, beautiful, healthy children, a home and a job, and I get to thinking that all of our "problems" are pale in comparison to so many people out there. So then I feel quitly all over again! I think all of this going on in my head has really sparked my bingeing. Tried to quit smoking on Monday, ate non-stop for 2 days, then decided the heck with it, picked up the cigs again-eating is back under control now, and I've gotten back in my workouts pretty good. I will try to quit once again on November 11th, National Smokers Day. Ok, enough serious stuff....I'll give an update later on the jobs, but now I just want to get back in the "groove" and work my butt off! (literally!)
posted by Wolfie @ 12:34 PM
Comments: 5
